The Waiting Game
by WWSmith
Summary: In an alternate universe, the Doctor keeps the Master in the TARDIS after "Last of the Time Lords". The Master of course does not want to be kept, so he falls back on an old stand by - flirt until the Doctor cracks.  Doctor/Master, Theta/Koschei.
1. Dreams and Laundry

Author's Notes:

_This story contains lots of dancing. If slash bothers you, please consider reading one of my other stories. _

_In order to understand this story, you only need to have watched the new series through season three. This story references events from the classic series, mainly from Five, Eight and Six (I will list specifics as they appear), but passing knowledge of the classics should be sufficient (at the very worst, you might end up doing a few Wikipedia searches)._

_Parts of this story are related to other fics of mine, namely, "The Second Intervention of Enzo Tapori" and "Dreams of Flying". They share the same past for the Doctor and the Master (academy days and so forth). Later in the story, there are some references to events in both stories, so if you want the full picture, I would recommend reading them as well._

_Scenes placed in italics denote events happening outside the main timeline. Note that these can be either flashbacks or flash-forwards._

_As always: "This story was intended for people who shop in the grown-up section of the bookstore… If you have to ask if you will be offended, you probably will."_

_

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**THE WAITING GAME  
**

**Chapter one, in which there is laundry and a dream**

_"Tell me to stop and I'll stop," he said, fingers deftly loosening the many layers the Doctor wore like armor. "Go on, all you have to do is say no." The Doctor said nothing. His mind was frantically trying to sort out what was happening while his body was busy reacting to this strange, but not unwelcome, situation. He stared into the eyes of the other. They were dark and inviting. Somewhere, he remembered that this was a dangerous thing to do and didn't care._

_ "Master…" He mumbled. The other moved even closer to him._

_ "Say it again."_

_ "Master." The Doctor said, all rational thought evaporating. The other pushed him into the console chair and tore open the layers of fabric, never once letting his eyes leave the Doctor's. He moved the clothing back, but did not remove it. The Doctor knew he was trapped by both the tangle of fabric and the weight of the man, but old phobias were silent. His will was lost to the other in front of him._

_ "Use my name."_

_ "Master." He was rewarded with a kiss, the other reaching inside to claim him. The Doctor felt the other's hands traveling down, reaching, searching until…_

The Doctor woke up. He sat up and tried to put to together what had happened. "It was just a dream," he told himself. "You're just trying to get used to having him around. It doesn't mean anything." The Doctor took stock of himself and, realizing he was covered in sweat, decided it was a good time to do some laundry.

* * *

_The other found what he was looking for. The Doctor gasped as he began to work, slowly drawing his fingers across and around him._

_ "Use my name." The Doctor obeyed._

_ "Master…" The other continued his task. The Doctor lost what was left of his grip on reality. The world seemed to shrink and expand at the same time; everything but them faded away, but the other was a universe unto himself. The feeling running through the Doctor spiked but the other hadn't brought him to the end. He was holding off, holding back._

_ "Use my name."_

_ "Master." The Doctor shuddered as the other moved faster. "Master, Master…" He kept saying it like a mad chant. The other took his free hand and pressed it against the Doctor's cheek. He poured energy into the Doctor, adding mental pleasures to physical. The Doctor writhed beneath the other; it was too much to take in. For a moment, he thought he would black out and prayed he wouldn't. This was far too much for even a Time Lord to handle but the Doctor couldn't bring himself to wish it to stop._

_ "Master!" He was close to the end now, he could feel it, almost, a few more seconds and…_

"Doctor?" The Doctor spun around to see the Master standing behind him. "What are you doing?" The Master was asking the question innocently enough, but his tone seemed to hint at suspicions of other things.

"Laundry. I couldn't sleep. It's weird having another Time Lord on board. Usually I let the companion set the sleep schedule, but since you sleep as little as I do it doesn't really work."

"Sure…" The Master said. "Having a bit of fun while you're doing it then?" He looked down meaningfully. The Doctor followed his gaze and turned bright red.

"Uh… I… um… must've dozed off and uh…"

"Look, I don't care what you do," the Master said conversationally, "You never made sense to me. Too much time around those apes." He took a bite of the banana he was holding.

"Where did you get that?" The Doctor asked.

"The kitchen," the Master replied, "Where else?"

"Right… yes, that makes sense." The Doctor searched for something to do.

"This is nice banana," the Master said, stroking the peel, "I like the feel of it. Where did you get it?"

"Uh…" The sight of the Master's fingers trailing along the edge of the fruit had somehow shorted out the Doctor's speech center. "Valingard I think. Been a long time, last life. Couldn't say for sure."

"Well, I'm glad I found it then. Poor thing's been left all alone. Nothing sadder than a wasted banana, especially one as nice as yours."

"What?"

"The banana." The Master held it up. "It's yours."

"Oh, right. Of course. Well, you're welcome to it." The Doctor decided that the arrangement of the boxes in the laundry room was all wrong and set to fixing it.

"Oh… is that so?" The Master asked, daring the Doctor to acknowledge the double meaning.

"Yes, well, lots to do. Got some washing up and other stuff." He turned and half ran for the door. The Master smiled after him. _'Soon, Doctor. Soon you will come to me and all you imagine will be real. You're not as strong as you think.'_

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	2. Swimming and Memories

Chapter two, in which there is swimming and memories

The Doctor moved through the water in an efficient, practiced motion. He swam as perfectly as possible, trying to get each tiny movement exactly right. When his mind focused on the details of his body, there was no room for other thoughts. It was an escape he had developed after coming back from the Time War. He had built up his ninth body up in a fervent attempt to keep the nightmares and doubts away. Sometimes, in those very early days, the Doctor had worked to the point of exhaustion in order to fall into a dreamless sleep. It was a punishing escape, but an escape nonetheless.

He had just finished a turn at the near end of the pool when a splash broke his concentration. The Doctor surfaced to see the Master standing in the water a few yards away from him through the water running down his face.

"Enjoying your swim?" The calm the Doctor had been building evaporated. _'So much for not thinking about it…'_

"Master."

"Sorry, am I interrupting?" The Master asked.

"No, I was just…" The Doctor's words had a ten-syllable pile up on the way to his mouth when he got a good look at the Master. _'Oh, that's just not fair…'_ He had suspected that this was one of the Master's better regenerations, but now he had no doubt that this was the best one since the original. The Doctor could see everything, the curves and lines of the Master's body highlighted by the water dripping off him. He felt like a child dropped into a magnificent toy store where everything was behind glass. The Doctor struggled to make his voice function. "Uh… I was just swimming. You're not bothering me."

_'Not at all…'_ A dark voice in his mind continued. _'Not even a little bit. Actually, you should come over here and not bother me.'_

_'Stop it.'_

"Alright then." The Master leaned into the water, letting his body stretch out into a swimming position. The Doctor tried to ignore him as he went past. _'I can get out and be completely obvious, or I can keep going and act like nothing's happening.'_ He stole a glance over his shoulder and felt warmth grow below his waist. _'Or I can just drown myself before I regenerate from frustration.'_ The Doctor sighed and tried to go back to his laps. Maybe if he swam long enough, got tired enough, focused on getting the strokes just right, he might not go mad. Maybe.

* * *

_"Come on Koschei, it's not that cold." Theta Sigma called from off shore. Koschei stared at him with disbelief._

_ "Liar. You like the cold. It's barely above freezing." Theta swam up to the shore, placed his hands wide and hoisted himself out of the water. He stood dripping in front of the other._

_ "Please? You'll get used to it."_

_ "Not a chance," Koschei said stubbornly, "If you want to get all wet and stand there in the cold, fine, but you're not getting me in there." He stared at Theta as if he planned to sit there until spring. It gave him an idea._

_ "Well…" He raised his hands above his head and stretched. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Koschei looking quite plainly at the swim trunks slipping down his hips. "If you really don't want to, I'll just swim by myself. All by myself…" He continued to stretch in several creative ways. "… with no one else to warm me up." At this last comment, Koschei started to get up. Theta shot him a smile, but dove back in the water before his boyfriend could reach his feet. He started counting. On "ten", Theta felt a surge of water as the other entered the river._

_ "Gods, Theta! This water is freezing." Theta laughed._

_ "I'm not cold at all." He swam over to his friend. "And besides, I can warm you up. Come here." They kissed, heat flushing their bodies to drive out the cold. Theta moved on the other quickly. The cold seemed to urge him on as strongly as the feedback that ran across their connection. The warmth was wonderful against the chill water, the contrast adding to the newness and thrill of it all._

_ "Theta…" Koschei whispered, "You've never been like this before." Theta's hearts fell a bit. Maybe this was the wrong time to risk trying something so bold. In the few other times they had gone this far, Koschei led. Theta had considered trying it before, but always talked himself out of it before the opportune moment._

_ "Do you want me to stop?" He asked uncertainly._

_ "No," Koschei said at once. He looked at Theta with an expression he would come to both love and be haunted by. "Don't stop."_

_

* * *

_

The Doctor stopped in mid-stroke and treaded water. The Master was over at the far side of the pool, swimming around innocently.

"Master?" He called, not really sure what he was planning to say. The Master turned at the sound of his name.

"What?"

"Do you ever think that maybe, if things had been different, we might have stuck together?" The Master looked at him strangely. _'Why are you thinking about that? You're not supposed to go all sentimental on me. I need you ripping my pants off.'_

"I don't really know." _'Careful,'_ he thought, _'don't remind him of the bad stuff.'_ "Trying to start things up again?" The Doctor shook his head.

"No. I was just wondering." He went over to the edge of the pool and pulled himself out. "I'm going to take a shower." The Master watched him go. He found himself growing warm at the sight of the slim frame dripping with water and unreasonably jealous of the towel the Doctor draped over his shoulders. _'Sure I can't join you?'_ He thought after him. _'No, too soon for that._' The Master smirked. _'But not much. I know you, Doctor. You can't hold out forever.'_

_

* * *

_

_"Theta!" Koschei's finger's dug into his flesh. If he hadn't been able to feel secondhand what his lover was experiencing, Theta would have worried about hurting him. Koschei's mind almost dissolved entirely, but the end brought him crashing back to reality. He felt the other's fingers unclench and his breathing slow. Koschei rolled away and lay on the grass exhausted._

_ "You've never… Theta…. I didn't think I could feel like that." Theta leaned back against a tree and tried to catch his breath. He briefly attempted to think of something clever to say, but decided it wasn't worth the effort, settling instead for a stupid grin. They sat in silence for a time, letting themselves recover. After a few minutes, Theta pulled himself up and extended a hand towards his lover. _

"_Let's go inside. It's warmer in the room… and there's beds." Koschei got the look again and smiled. Theta could feel exactly what he what he was thinking and returned the plots in kind. _

"_Race you."_

_

* * *

_

The Doctor stood under the shower head and let the water pour over him. It was freezing cold, but he didn't dare turn the temperature up even if he was shivering. He leaned back against the cool tile. _'What's wrong with me?'_ He thought desperately. _'I haven't been with him in centuries. Those days are a long gone. I don't need him for that anymore. I don't need to use anyone like that.'_ The Doctor forced himself to recall the dark days after the fight that had irrevocably altered their relationship. _'You don't want to be that person. Just look at what it did to him. I'm not going to go running around trying to fill the hole he left. Not again.'_ Old shame echoed in his mind. _'I don't shag companions.'_ He told himself.

_'Unless they come to you.'_ Said the dark voice.

_'That's different,'_ he told it, _'That was their choice. I didn't make them do anything.'_ The dark voice fell mercifully silent. The Doctor stared at the wall of the shower. How many times had he stood here having this fight? Sometimes it seemed that he took as many cold showers as hot ones. He turned the water off, stepped out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around his waist. The mirror, completely clear from lack of steam, showed him how deranged he looked.

"Why would he want me now, anyway?" The Doctor asked his reflection, "I'm not Theta… and he's not Koschei." He pulled the door of the bath open. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he collided headlong into the Master, who lost his balance and landed on top of his captor.

"Well, hello Doctor," he said, not at all annoyed with the situation.

"Master," the Doctor said shortly. The body on top of him was warm and inviting compared to the hard floor pressing into his back. He tried very hard to keep his eyes on the Master's face and his thoughts neutral. Fantasies flicked through his mind like a succession of bad shipping videos. _'Please get off me before I have to take another shower.'_ "Could you let me up?"

"You're freezing," The Master said, "Is there something wrong with the TARDIS?"

"No, nothing's wrong. I've been out for a bit. Can you get off so I can go get dressed?"

"You'll catch a cold running around in just a towel. You should really get warmed up." The Doctor stared into the Master's eyes.

'_Get warmed up? You have no idea what I would do right now if I could.'_ His friend's eyes seemed to swallow him up in an ocean of dark green. _'They've never been that color before. It's a nice color.'_ The feeling of cold began to diminish. _'And a nice body. I really do like this one. I wonder if…'_ He imagined what would happen if he reached up and kissed the Master right there on the floor. He would be surprised at first, but not for long. The Master always seemed to know him better than he knew himself. He would lead at first, then the Master would kiss him back. They would stay that way for a while, learning each other's mouths, then teaching their hands of each other's bodies, then they would…

"Doctor?" He snapped out of his daydream to find the Master holding a hand out to him. "Shall I leave you to commune with the flooring or would you like to get up?" The Doctor took the Master's hand. He was so shocked by what he felt through the link he almost dropped it. For a second, a very brief second, the same kind of things running through his own mind had been going through the Master's. It was shortly hidden away by annoyance and general disapproval of the Doctor, but it had been there. One of the biggest dangers of being touch telepaths was risking someone reading surface emotions through something as innocent as holding hands. The Master seemed to realize his mistake; he released the Doctor's hand as soon as he was on his feet.

"Careful where you're going." He said gruffly.

"Master…" But he walked off as if the last few minutes hadn't happened. It didn't seem possible, but it was almost as if he were embarrassed. The Doctor shook his head. He was just projecting. He had to be.

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A.N:

If you look carefully at close ups of John Simm, you can see that his eyes are green. It's hard too tell in most shots… guess that means I've been watching those episodes a little too often.

This is our first flashback to Theta Sigma and Koschei. I'll be skipping around with them as far as time goes – it ranges from very young to within a year of the break up. The flashbacks in this story work from the same history as the one used in "The Second Intervention of Enzo Tapori", so if you want the whole picture I highly recommend heading over there and reading that story as well. (At the very least, read the flashbacks in chapters four and eight.) That history is going to come into play very shortly.


	3. Mircogravity and Daydreams

A.N.: Early upload for Valentine's - enjoy!

"This story was intended for people who shop in the grown-up section of the bookstore… If you have to ask if you will be offended, you probably will."

* * *

**Chapter three, in which there is micro-gravity and daydreams**

_The Doctor led the other down the halls of the TARDIS. He knew what the Doctor was thinking. He always knew. Across all these centuries, their connection still ran strong._

_ They walked silently down the corridor, communing without words. The other radiated trust and an openness that was rare, even in the halcyon days of their relationship. The Doctor reached the zero room and pushed open the door. He considered explaining, but even the smallest sound would shatter the fragile understanding. The other entered the room without a word, falling out of normal gravity. The Doctor drifted in after him and lost himself in the other._

_

* * *

_

"Don't you ever get bored in this ship?" The Doctor jolted upright from the slouch he had assumed in the console room chair.

"Nah, lots to do if you know where to look. I've got books and games and there's even a colony of semi-intelligent pygmy spiders hiding around here somewhere." The Master crossed the room and stood far too close to the Doctor than was necessary.

"You know, Doctor, we could find something more interesting to do than just sitting around…" He trailed off and let the moment hang. The Doctor said nothing, refusing to acknowledge the invitation but not wanting to (or able to, if he wanted to be honest with himself) ignore the Master. The look in his eyes was all too familiar. He knew that expression well – across all the faces of the Master, it had stayed the same. Had it been nine lifetimes ago, the Doctor would have pulled him down to the nearest workable surface and snogged him silly. It was horrifically temping, but he forced himself to stand up and put distance between them.

_'He probably doesn't even realize what he's doing.'_ He looked back to find the Master still staring at him. He wanted to answer the challenge with one of his own, bring his hands to push on the hidden places of the other's body, make nonsense sounds of wanting rise from his mouth, to make those dark eyes glaze over with pleasure. _'No, no, no!'_ He shouted at himself. _'He's sick. He's as crazy as the day he tried to rape you.'_ The Doctor used the word deliberately, taking the pain it caused and clinging to it for focus.

"Could we go somewhere?" The Master asked. "You take all the other companions places but I never get to go anywhere." Companion. That was an odd way to say it. The Master wasn't a companion like the rest. All of a sudden, the Doctor felt very exposed. Without another rational person on board, there was no one to stop him. He was completely dependant on his own control and it terrified him. A feeling of dread ran cold down his spine.

"I don't think so," the Doctor said carefully, "Can't let you take over anymore planets." The Master rolled his eyes.

"Was it really as bad as all that? We could have had a new Gallifrey."

"Gallifrey's gone," the Doctor said quietly, "All of it. Everything we grew up with is gone."

"All of it?" the Master said. The tone was meant to be innocent, but the Doctor thought he heard something else underneath the façade.

"Yes." He left the room quickly, wishing that it wasn't true. The Master looked after him curiously. Maybe he was going about this the wrong way. The Doctor was too practiced at not jumping companions for even backdoor suggestion to work. Perhaps is it was time for another approach. What the Master was considering was devious and low, but he had to get out of here. Besides, what did he care if it hurt the Doctor? After all, his original escape plan had been to "die" and then be revived by the cult he had planted. Rassilon only knew what that would have done to the Doctor. No matter how much he had tried to hide it behind logic or assurances of his own well being, the Doctor was a very emotional person. It almost seemed as if he was coming full circle: full of feeling as a child, becoming hardened and then regressing back into his young self. If you knew where to look, the Doctor had weak spots several miles wide. _'And it took the Daleks for me to figure it out.'_ He smirked. _'All that ranting about emotions and they never realized what they could _really_ do to him if they wanted.'_ Stupid squids. They never thought any farther than physical death. Did nobody but him know that the most effective way to get at the Doctor was through his guilt?

* * *

_They danced._

_ The lack of gravity seemed to erase everything, all restriction gone now that "up" and "down" had been reduced to arbitrary designations. The Doctor and the other tumbled over and over in empty space, feeding of each other until the sounds of their activity echoed through the TARDIS._

_ "I've never taken anyone else here," the Doctor said as they waited for their bodies to return to a ready state, "Not for this… not since…" The other reached up to let his memories of the experience flow into the Doctor's mind._

_ "I remember it." The Doctor sent back his own recollections. The other's face split into a smile._

_ "Oh… is that what you remember about it?" His grin continued to grow as the associated thoughts reached him.  
_

_ "Never was like it was with you, but it's been so long I can hardly tell some times."_

_ "Well, maybe you just need a refresher." The other took up a different position. "Maybe I should remind you." The Doctor closed his eyes as wonderfully familiar sensations ran through his body. A wave of heat blossomed below his waist, climbing up to turn his brain to dust._

_ "Master…" The Doctor whispered. His mind fried completely under the other's touch and he said no more._

_

* * *

_

"Son of a Dalek!" The Doctor dropped the spanner he was holding. It floated away from him innocently, not caring that it had delivered a near paralyzing shock to its operator. The TARDIS lights flashed angrily.

"I'm sorry, girl," the Doctor said. He stroked a panel with his good hand. "Got my wires crossed. Thanks for moving the power away."

The light flicked across the visible spectrum as the TARDIS responded: _Forgiven. Excess power routed to battery array seven. Did not want you harmed._ The colors paused. _Maintenance can wait._ The Doctor rubbed his sore hand.

"I know, but I haven't been paying much attention to you and I'm still not sure I've got things set right."

_Danger of further sabotage minimal. Distraction of you much greater threat._ The Doctor laughed.

"Yeah…" He thought of the Master.

_Watching. Koschei is danger._ The Doctor felt an old tinge of annoyance. The TARDIS had met the Master as Koschei and refused to change his designation.

"I'm not going to let him hurt either of us."

_Makes you hurt self._ The ship argued back.

"He hasn't done anything since he's been here." The TARDIS lights began to change faster than the Doctor could keep up with them.

_Dangerous! Extra actions. Plotting. Uses past. Koschei pushing, knows you. Danger!_

"You're worrying over nothing. I know how he works as much as you do." _'Better, actually.'_ He added to himself. "I'll be fine."

_Alone. Koschei and you alone. Bad. Dangerous. Koschei plots._

"I've got no choice. I can't just dump him somewhere, " the Doctor suddenly fell half way to the floor as the TARDIS flicked the engine room's gravity on and off.

_Warning danger!_ The ship flashed furiously. _Bad as Fourth and K-9! Warn, not listen. Danger, not listen. Only listen in death danger last minute!_

"Stop it." The Doctor said angrily. "You know as well as I do…" He fell another few feet. "Look, if you're going to keep behaving like that…"

_Danger, not listen. Not listen, not speak. Alone._ The lights faded back to white as the TARDIS resumed its normal dormant state. The Doctor waited a few minutes, then pushed off a wall towards the rebellious spanner. As he went back to work, he couldn't help but wonder if the TARDIS might have been right. The Master had been rather forward. If he didn't know better...

His thoughts were interrupted by a series of warning lights. The Doctor pushed off towards the diagnostic panel and saw that the power surge had overloaded the battery array, shorting out power to all the rooms in that area of the ship. He tried to remember what was in that section. _'Mostly storage...'_ he thought to himself. _'Movie room, video game room… Wait, didn't the Master say he was going over there?'_ The Doctor went over to the broken circuits and switched off the power to the section. At least now he could fix it without getting shocked again. He was about to start repairs when he heard someone tripping down the stairs outside. Pushing himself off a wall, he flew to the exit and poked his head out the door.

"Master?"

"What the hell just happened?" asked a very disgruntled, popcorn covered Master.

"Power surge. I was doing maintenance and crossed the wrong wires. Are you alright?"

"Yeah…" he brushed a few kennels off his shoulder, crossed his arms and gave the Doctor an annoyed stare. "But I was about to get to the best part of 'Rocky Horror'." The Doctor looked at him incredulously.

"What? Why were you…"

"I happen to like it. And besides, things are so dull around here I figure if I can't do anything I might as well watch it." The Doctor thought that sentence over. There were a few ways of interpreting he wasn't quite comfortable with. Luckily, the Master saved him from having to respond. "Need help with the repairs?"

"I can probably handle it on my own but if you want…" The Doctor trailed off as the Master walked past him. "…to help you can." He jumped as the Master clamped onto his shoulder. It wasn't skin to skin, but it was still physical contact. The Doctor wished for a crazy second that the Master would grab on to his other shoulder and push down under his clothing. He gripped the frame of the door tightly as he fought his body for control of his mind. "I've turned the gravity off. Makes it easy to reach…" He had to stop for air when the Master latched on with his other hand. "…things." The Doctor closed his eyes. He could feel how close the Master was behind him.

_'Is this really happening?'_ He thought. The Master continued to hold on to him, not moving away towards the panels or closer to the Doctor. His mind jumped the beaten track and wandered down into the madness that always lurked behind logic. _'Please, let it be happening.'_ His body was screaming. _'Please, let this happen and finally be done.'_ The Doctor stood as still as a he could. He was sure the Master knew what he was doing to him now. He would smell it, feel it, hear it in his voice. _'You know.'_ He thought in a fit of insanity. _'You know what I want.'_ One of the Master's hands was shifting. He braced himself. If the Master made the first move, it wouldn't be his fault. He wouldn't have forced him. It would be okay. The Doctor took a breath, then the Master tapped him on the shoulder. He broke out of his reverie.

"Doctor, what's that bit do?" He was pointing to a cluster of wires. The Doctor turned and followed the Master's finger.

"Links to the condenser coil. That's for environmental. The power lines are over there." The Master let go of his shoulders and pushed off towards the offending circuits. The Doctor stood in the doorway and felt ashamed.

_'I'm no better than him. He just grabbed on to me because of the gravity.'_ He let his head fall against the doorframe. _'I'm worse than he is.'_ The frustration made him want to scream.

"Doctor?" He shoved the emotion down into the basement of his soul and turned to the Master.

"Yes?"

"Do you have replacements for this wire? It's completely shot. Burned out." He held up a fist full of frazzled metal strips. "Too much running through them."

"Sure…" The Doctor pushed off towards a storage bin. The Master hung on to a handle and watched him glide across the room.

_'I've got you.'_ He thought. _' I can smell it on you. If I jumped you now, you wouldn't do a thing about it.'_ The Master reached out for the spare wires and was careful not to let their hands meet. _'But it's still too soon. If I jumped at the first shot, you'd figure it out too quickly.'_ He felt a bit dizzy from the pheromones coming off the Doctor. _'Got to wait until you really can't take it anymore.'_ The Master put his apparent focus back into fixing the TARDIS, all the while watching the Doctor carefully. _'It shouldn't be this easy. When was the last time you got any?' _"Has it been giving you trouble?" He said out loud.

"No. I had time to work on it after you sabotaged it. She's as good as ever. I just have to keep up with repairs." _'Was I really that quiet about it or are you just letting it go?'_

"I didn't sabotage it. I just changed the function a bit." _'Years? Decades? Or is it me?'_

"You rewired everything. After you had your way with it, I had to rebuild from scratch." _'Why are you doing this?'_

"I was only trying to get your attention." The Master twisted a bolt and leaned over in a way that was completely unnecessary to access the panel he was reaching for. "I hadn't seen you in so long…" _'I missed you. Even when I didn't know to miss you, I still knew you where supposed to be there. Can't you see that?'_ He told himself that he was doing this to keep the Doctor wound up, but in truth didn't want to look his old friend in the eye. _'You abandoned me. You left me to die at the end of the universe. I needed you and you weren't there.'_ The Master wrenched a nut out of its socket with so much force the bit of metal shot across the room like a bullet.

"I'm sorry." The Doctor said. "If I had known that you were there…"

"Don't." The Master's voice was a flat construction of anger. "Just don't." He took a second to bring himself back under control. "It's not like I can rely on you anyway." As soon as the words left his lips, the Master knew it had been the wrong thing to say. He cursed under his breath as the Doctor floated over to him. He was wearing an expression that would have made a kicked puppy look cheerful. The Master hated that look. The pathetic weakness was bad enough, but the tug at his hearts at the sight of those sad brown eyes made him want to throttle someone, preferably the Doctor.

"Master…"

"Oh, no." He brandished the tool in his hand at the Doctor. "Don't start that again." _'I'm not letting you off the hook.'_

"I can still help." The Doctor said quickly. "If you'd just let me try I could…" The Master cut him off with a bitter laugh.

"Sorry, Doctor, but this," he tapped his temple, "is something even you can't sort out. I don't want you in there." He gave him a look of mock sympathy. _'Time to push the buttons.'_ "Besides, the monsters and nightmares would eat you, or worse, infect you! Can't have you staying awake night 'cos you don't dare go to sleep. Someone's got to fly this thing and Omega knows you won't let me do it." He continued to fiddle with the wiring, feeling much better now that he was back in control. If the Doctor took the bait, the next part of the plan would fall into place beautifully. "I still say I'm the better pilot." The Master let the silence between them hang. _'That's right, think about. You have nightmares too. I've heard them.'_ He laughed to himself when the Doctor floated away to do repairs. _'Oh, Doctor, you can't hide from me.'_

"Do you… dream about the Time War?"

_'And there it is.'_ He thought with a smile. _'Now I act all flustered and you'll eat it up.'_ "What difference does it make to you?" He said, making it sound as if he was trying not to sound defensive. The Doctor poked his head around a corner.

"One of the reasons I have companions is so I'm not alone at night. Sometimes, having someone else in the room does a world of good." The Master gave an offended sniff.

"I'm not afraid of the dark, Doctor."

"No…" The Doctor looked away. "You're afraid of the things that make the dark look like a play park."

"I don't need you to protect me." _'You need me to protect you.'_ He thought bitterly.

* * *

_He was safe. The Doctor ran a hand back and forth across the other's arm. The motion was soothing and repetitive; he loved the feel of the other's skin under his hands. He buried his head against the other's shoulder and gave a contented sigh. "I missed you. All of them… they always expect me to fix everything. I'm the one who has to protect them." He fell silent then and let the raw feelings flow across. He let the other see how lonely and empty he felt, how hard it was to constantly be the older and wiser and decider of things. _

_The other understood. The other accepted what he was, how he felt, that he needed to let go and be the weaker one sometimes. It was hard to explain and the Doctor had never been able to put his emotions into words well. With the other, all he had to do was let him in. He felt him reach slowly into his mind. "Master..." he said sleepily, "I wish you had never left. I wish you never heard any drums. I wish…" his voice dropped to a mumble. "…I wish none of it had happened and we could be kids again." He felt the other's arms tighten around him. The Doctor wanted to tell the other something important, but a wall of pain blocked it from his reach. "… sorry… can't quite get at it… my fault…"_

"_Then lets go back." The other turned him around and reached deeper into his mind. The Doctor offered no resistance to the other and felt layers of years fall away. He fell back, farther and deeper in the recesses of his own mind. As control began to leave him, what was left of his self-preservation shouted in alarm. The Doctor opened his eyes to the other's calm gaze radiating comfort and familiarity. He found it impossible to keep his eyes open and tipped back into the mental world. _

"_Theta?" Came Koschei's voice. "Why won't you trust me?" Something was wrong, but he couldn't think of what it was. Everything was so fuzzy now, vague and soft. A comforting peace lay just beyond the waking world. He wanted to go to it, but he knew he shouldn't. "It's alright." Said the old voice. "I've got you. Sleep, Theta, you're tired."_

"_Tired…" the Doctor mumbled aloud. He almost came back to himself, but then he saw the other waiting for him in the peaceful place._

"_Come." The old voice said. "Come and rest. I'll be here with you." The image walked up to him and reached out to him. "Come out of the cold and sleep." As soon as their hands touched, the Doctor's guardians fell silent._

_He let go._

_

* * *

_

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A.N.: As I've said before, this is where we pick up "Enzo Tapori". These stories are not in the same universe, but they branch from the same past. Curious what that past is? Read chapters four and eight!


	4. Rocky Horror and Strange Bedmates

Chapter Four, in which there is Rocky Horror and strange bedmates

The Master stood triumphant before his guests. "Tonight," he told them, "I unveil a miracle of modern science!" He snapped his gloves. "Never before has such a thing been achieved, never in all the worlds has there been such a beautiful creation and never has it been replicated. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, tonight I give you, the Doctor!" Music played from no apparent source as scantily clad nurses pulled a tall, lanky body wrapped from head to toe in bandages from a rainbow colored tank. The Master stood by swooning as the glory of the man under the linen was revealed. "Oh, Rocky!" He exclaimed in an expression of pure delight. The man looked confused, but smiled at the praise. The Master grabbed his creation by the hand and ran towards the bedroom. Forget seven days, he was going to make it hours. He leapt on to the bed and hauled the creation up after him. The man lay on top of him, still looking confused but still smiling as well. The Master grinned, stripped off his gloves and began examining his handiwork in minute detail. The creature didn't seem to mind this: it made small noises and poked around at his creator a bit. When the Master reached past the golden scrap that was the creation's only clothing, the man brought his head up. He gave no explanation, only continued to divest the creature. Once he had it off, he seized the creation and reversed their positions. "You are mine." He whispered wildly. Just as he was about to express this possession in a very different way, the dream broke.

* * *

The Master sat up cursing. Frustrated, he flung the blankets off, wrenched the door open and stalked down the hall. To hell with the plan, any more of this and he really would go mad. He wanted the Doctor and the Doctor wanted him; so what if it put off escape? Freedom wasn't worth it. Screw the plan; he wasn't spending another night in that damnedly empty bed.

His thoughts continued in a frustrated rage for the first few minutes, but as he got closer to the Doctor's room, he began to think again. This was rash action even for him. If he went through with it, there wouldn't be any other means of escape unless the Doctor got sloppy. _'This is working too well.'_ He thought. _'I want to jump him now. Gods, how long have I been here?'_ He reflected that it might have been a very grave error indeed to become accustomed to satisfying that particular need whenever and however he wanted. So far, the Master had been making due with what he could pull together from the TARDIS and his own strange imagination, but it was not by any means the same. _'Damn it all, Doctor, how do you live like this?'_ He suspected that somewhere on the ship there was a locked room the Doctor kept hidden, or that there was a very confused brothel somewhere who kept getting an odd set of clients who all insisted that they be called 'doctor'. _'Or you're the most sexually repressed being in the universe.'_ He thought bitterly. He considered the possibility with an air of sarcasm, then in earnest. What if he really hadn't gotten any in years? What would it be like to have all that pent up energy and need come out at one time? _'A lot of fun for me,'_ the Master thought with a grin. He hadn't had a good run with a man since he hit the middle age of his last life. The Master slowed his pace to a walk. _'Can't be setting that off too soon.'_ He stopped in front of the Doctor's door. _'I'm not going back to that room,'_ he thought stubbornly. _'But maybe I can make this work…'_

_

* * *

_

The Doctor lay in his bed staring up at the ceiling. It was one of the most well inspected places on the ship; he had spent many nights looking up at the tiny flaws and inconsistencies of the paint while contemplating a number of things. He had gone to bed after he had shared an uncomfortably quiet dinner with the Master. During the meal, he'd tried to coax the shape of his companion's nightmares out of him, but had no luck. As in centuries gone by, when the Master didn't want something to be known, nothing would get it out of him. _'It used to be so simple,'_ the Doctor thought idly, _'The two of us… in the Academy we were a couple, then we were nothing… then we were enemies. That wasn't so bad, really. Even though you hurt people, I know why you did it. We were mad at each other… though I still don't completely understand why you were mad at me. Sometimes even I'm not sure what goes on in that head of yours.'_ The Doctor rolled over and closed his eyes. When had this gotten so complicated? '_Sometime around the seventh me, I suppose.'_ He recalled the Cheetah Planet._ 'Rassilon, that was weird. You were heading for this even then: you learned to deal with the insanity by plotting and trying to control things, but when you had nothing to break, your mind started to collapse. I don't blame you for what you did; I really don't. I still…'_ The Doctor's thoughts ceased as the door to his room swung open quietly. It wasn't a loud sound, but his previous self had been paranoid enough to keep the hinges squeaky. He'd never bothered fixing them: he found he liked knowing when someone was coming. The Doctor tracked the Master's progress across the room in his mind. When he reached the far edge of the bed, he heard the Master stop. The Doctor wasn't sure why he was there, but he wanted to find out even if it meant risking attack. He lay still and pretended to be asleep.

"Doctor, are you awake?" The Doctor rolled over.

"What is it?" He asked in a sleepy voice.

"It's too cold," the Master announced.

"What?"

"My room. It's too cold. The power surge must have messed it up." The Doctor ran that possibility through his extensive knowledge of the TARDIS and decided it was impossible for the accident from earlier to have messed with environmental. He nodded.

"Don't worry, stuff like this happens all the time. I'll be able to fix it no problem."

"Good." The Master lifted the blankets on his side of the bed and began to get in. The Doctor attempted not to panic.

"Wha... what are you doing?"

"Don't you ever listen? It's freezing in my room." The Master laid down in the bed, rolled onto his side and propped his head up on one hand. "Am I crowding you?"

"No…"

"Alright then." He settled down to sleep. "Good night." The Master closed his eyes as if nothing unusual was happening and appeared to go to sleep. The Doctor stared at the man across from him in disbelief. _'You're lying. You made that up to get in here. There are a million other solutions to this problem and you picked this one. Why?'_ The Doctor watched the Master's face as he slept. At first, it was awkward having him in the bed, but as the initial shock died down, the Doctor began to find the arrangement quite cozy. He hadn't been lying when he said that having someone else in the room helped him sleep. _'Did you really come here because you have bad dreams? Or is it something else?'_ The Master rarely did things for only one reason. _'Looks like nightmares was a part of it.'_ He thought when the Master's face turned dark. The Doctor moved over slowly, not wanting to startle him. Very carefully, he reached out and placed a hand on the Master's forehead. He gave a quiet yelp when his patient grabbed his wrist but remained asleep.

"Don't…" The Master mumbled. The Doctor stopped. Maybe he wouldn't have to reach into the Master's mind after all. He found the place where the brain failed to stop the body from speaking and added his own efforts to the blockage.

"Why?" The Doctor asked quietly.

"You can't know." The Master replied. "Don't want you to see."

"I won't see," the Doctor said, "What don't I see?"

"Me. Don't see me."

"Why don't I see you?"

"Can't see me. The plan…" Ah. The plan. No surprise there.

"I don't know about the plan," he assured the Master.

"That's because you're stupid." The Doctor gave a half laugh.

"Right, and your plan's too brilliant for me."

"Oh, not this time. It's a stupid plan. You always get around smart plans. I made a stupid plan this time."

"That's not like you." Said the Doctor disapprovingly.

"And it's not like you to be so sloppy with your psychics." The Doctor looked at the Master and was horrified to discover he was wide-awake. "Thought you'd take a peak inside my head when I was sleeping?"

"I… you looked like you were having a bad dream so…"

"Save it. I'm sure you'd have found a way in if I hadn't woken up." The Master's eyes narrowed. "You were always too good at tinkering with things that don't concern you." The Doctor backed off.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried that without asking."

"Did it ever occur to you that I don't care?" The Master was glaring at him now, angry at far more than this latest misstep.

"What?"

"I don't care if you're sorry. Don't you understand that? I don't want your apologies." At this refusal, the Doctor found anger of his own. All the careful patience of the previous weeks vanished in a few seconds. He was tired of being the universe's punching bag and he certainly wasn't going to take abuse from someone he had dropped everything to care for when sanity dictated he should just abandon him.

"Oh, I know. I know you don't want them. You don't want them because it means you didn't hurt me. Cos it means you failed and I forgave you," he shot back.

"Stop it," the Master growled as he clambered out of the bed.

"No," said the Doctor, climbing out himself, "No, I don't think I will. Cos you know what? I think you're afraid."

"I said shut up!"

"You're afraid. All your life you've been afraid. I knew it even when we were kids but I was never able to really work it out." The Doctor strolled over to the Master. He was backing away into a corner, just like he had on the deck of the Valiant. "You're afraid of losing control," the Doctor continued to advance on his friend, "You're afraid people seeing past you and not being afraid because they know what you really are under all the madness."

"And what I am, then?" the Master shouted. He seemed determined to salvage something out his failed confrontation. "Tell me, oh wise and powerful 'doctor'."

"A kid," the Doctor said simply, "A scared little kid who's lost miles away from home. A kid who can't control himself so he tries to control everything else. A kid who's so terrified of admitting what he is he won't take help from anyone because that would mean someone would know all his secrets. Trouble is…" The Doctor closed the remaining distance between them. "Somebody already does."

"I hate you," the Master snarled.

"Of course you do. I'm a threat. But I'm also the only friend you've got left. Nobody else cares what happens to you." The Master ducked around the Doctor and wrenched the door open. The Doctor made no move to stop him.

"Go to hell." The Master stalked out the door and slammed it behind him. The Doctor stayed where he was and pondered what just happened with a strange detachment. After a few minutes, he got back into bed and went to sleep, his conscience somehow lighter for the fight.

* * *

The Master paced the halls of the TARDIS late into the night. If he had had the presence of mind, he probably would have noticed that his route took him around in a circle no matter what turns he took. He was mad at everything: the Doctor, himself, the stupid plan, getting caught. Every thought that went through his mind fueled his fury. The deepest hurt, however, remained untouched. The Doctor had been right; he had been right about everything, just like he always was in the end. The Master picked a room at random and started destroying things. After a while, his fury began to cool and solidify into the cold, calculating state of mind that had served him so well. The plan would go ahead, oh yes, but this time, there would be no limits. He was going to bring the Doctor down in the worst possible way and laugh when it broke him. Before, he wouldn't have considered it; now, he wasn't going to settle for anything sort of total destruction. "I'll show you what I am," he said to the empty room. "I'll show you how much of a 'scared little kid' I am." He started to laugh. "You're the one who has got no control. You think I can't deal with insults? You think you can say what you want without it coming back to get you? Oh, Doctor…" His face filled with an insane grin, "…just wait and see what I've got in store for you."

* * *

Classic Episodes Referenced: "The Cheetah Planet", Seventh Doctor

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	5. Fantasies and Disappointments

"This story was intended for people who shop in the grown-up section of the bookstore… If you have to ask if you will be offended, you probably will."

* * *

Chapter Five, in which there are fantasies and disappointments

"Feeling better?" the other asked when the Master wandered in to the kitchen from the bowels of the TARDIS corridors. The Master glared at him, but didn't speak right away.

"I don't feel like killing you any more if that's what you mean."

"That's good." The other held a plate out to him. "Bacon?" The Master took a piece and bit into it. He never understood why the other had such a fascination with Earth food. "Master?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want some eggs too?" The other was holding up a spatula.

"Well look at you, Mr. Domestic."

"I like cooking," he said with a frown, "It's got nothing to do with being 'domestic' or not." The Master shrugged.

"You can't have gotten worse." He sat down at the table. The other began cooking.

"So what are we doing now?"

"What?" the other asked over the sounds of frying eggs.

"I said 'what are we doing now?'" he repeated.

"Doing? What do you mean?"

"You can't just expect to leave keep me here forever."

"I suppose not," said the other distractedly.

"So what are you going to do with me?" The other fell silent for a while.

"I hadn't really thought," he replied. The other slid the eggs on to a plate and placed them in front of the Master. "At the time, the most important thing was getting you someplace safe."

"I was safe," the Master said through a mouthful of egg.

"For everyone else." The other sat down across from his companion. "I can't exactly let you go running around about the universe, can I? I'd take you back to Gallifrey, but that's not an option anymore." The other suddenly became very interested in the tea he'd left sitting on the table.

"Was it that bad at the end?"

"Worse," the other said in his cup, "Worse than you could possibly imagine. We were fighting for the existence of everything but…" He shook his head. "You know how Time Wars get. This one was across all of time for everything. I was on my own– no one wanted anything to do with me."

"They never worry about what they do to us. The Time Lords only brought me back because they needed someone to break things, they weren't worried about what it did to my head," the Master said. Some of the demons contained in the back of his mind thrashed against their cages. The sound echoed around the room. "It isn't like before. I can't think like I used to," he admitted.

"Is it bad?" the other asked.

"What do you think?" the Master growled, "Of course it is." The particular wording of the question wasn't lost on him. Thousands of years ago, Theta Sigma had asked him the same question for almost the same reason. "Fucking Time Lords. They have to mess with everything. Why didn't they just leave me alone?" He had just finished the question when he found the other's arms around him.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"The only thing I can," the other said, "You won't let me do anything else, but I can't sit and watch this." The Master looked up at him. His eyes were sad and wet, but not for himself.

'_It's for me,_' the Master thought, _'You're making that terrible face for me…'_

"I still…"

"Say it." The Master pulled the other down close to him. "Please… if you really forgive me… I just need to hear it." The Master saw the other struggle for words and begin the sentence.

And that was when he woke up.

* * *

The Master woke slowly, coming out of the dream with the full awareness that it had been a figment of his imagination. He was lying in the corner of a smashed room, wreckage scattered all around him. Someone had come and put a blanket over him during the night. It smelled like the Doctor. The Master threw it aside, then went retrieved it from behind a pile of boxes. He allowed himself a few moments of weakness holding the fabric to his face so the scent could saturate his senses. Then he recalled what had caused him to be here, tossed the blanket away and went to find the Doctor.

He followed the smell of frying food down to corridors to the kitchen. "Good morning," the Doctor said cheerfully, "Cooking up bacon, want some?" The whole scene looked exactly as it had in his dream.

"Sure." He sat down in a chair heavily. In an odd and much disused part of his mind, he wished he were still in the dream. It had been better there.

"I thought today we might go somewhere, maybe the Eye of Orion. Some place to stretch our legs and get out of the TARDIS. She's been hanging about in vortex too long."

"Suits me fine," the Master said without any real enthusiasm. By the plan, sounding interested in an outing would arouse suspicion, but in reality he just didn't care anymore. The Doctor set a plate of bacon down on the table and sat down across from his companion.

"You're quiet today."

"I'm trying to figure out the best way to kill you with this bacon." He took a piece from the plate and examined it. "Not many options, but I think I could work something." The Doctor laughed.

"Sorry, only dangerous thing about this stuff is the grease." He took grabbed a rasher. "You've got to be careful about cooking it; one wrong move and you get horrible burns. Makes good eggs though." The Doctor took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. "I suppose if you force fed it to me over a long period it would clog my hearts. Big problem on Earth I hear."

"Force feeding you bacon… now there's an idea." The Master took a mouthful from his own piece. "I could have fun with that."

"Or you could grease the steps with it so I tripped and broke my head on something. I regenerated once that way."

"Please tell me you're kidding."

"Nope," the Doctor devoured his piece and reached for another, "my fifth death. Tripped on a treadmill."

"Was that the one that wore that horrible coat?"

"Ye-ah… not one of my better moments." The Master starting laughing so hard the Doctor thought he was having a break down.

"That was the one I had to rescue from the Valeyard! With those god-awful companions and the Rani!"

"It was a mid-life crisis, alright? Long deaths make me… they make the new one a bit weird." The Master continued to giggle. "At least I didn't look like I'd stolen my clothes from a rejected sci-fi film."

"You weren't one to talk, Mr. Cowboy. I only grabbed those clothes because it was handy."

"So did I! You try finding decent clothes in a hospital at New Year's."

"But you stayed in them. At least this you has some decent sense in clothes."

"And at least this you knows how to use a razor."

"And a comb! Have you seen your hair? It looks like a porcupine's ass!"

"I like my hair just how it is, thanks. Last time I barely had any hair at all." The Master thought back.

"Have you regenerated since I saw you last?"

"Twice. Once during the Time War, once to save somebody."

"Anyone interesting?"

"No one you would like."

"You liked her, though." The Doctor changed the subject.

"You should get some new clothes on. Can't have you scaring the locals. Might want to grab a shower, too." The Doctor stood up and gathered the plates. He was drinking down the last of a glass of orange juice when the Master casually asked, "Care to join me?" The Doctor choked. He had to drop the dishes in the sink and run for a napkin to prevent juice from dripping everywhere. It was all the Master could do not to laugh.

"What… what did you just say?" he asked between fits of coughing. The Master answered him with all the innocence the prank deserved.

"I asked 'where's the shower?' What'd you think I said?"

"Nothing, nothing." The Doctor shook his head and pointed. "Heard wrong. The shower is out that door. Take two lefts and a middle fork. It'll be on your right. If you pass the door with the fish on it you went too far."

"Thanks, see you in a bit." _'Still got it.'_

_

* * *

_

The Master stood under the shower head, relishing every bit of hot water that rolled over his body. He had shut the vents and turned up the heat as far as he could without scalding himself, filling the bathroom with steam. He loved to do this; surrounding himself with heat and giving up to it, accepting what it was and letting it fill his body until there was no difference between the vapors and his own essence. One of the few things he and the Doctor didn't agree on was temperature; the Doctor would walk around in places where other creatures wouldn't dare venture without several layers of clothing. Sure, he had a Time Lord's temperature range, but he preferred the cold in a way that made the Master wonder if he was part ice bear. Maybe it was a side effect of living in the mountains. Theta Sigma had always welcomed the ice and snow that came to swallow the Academy every winter while he had huddled inside under layer after layer of sweaters and blankets. The Master on the other hand, liked heat.

And oh, how he'd taken advantage of it. The Master smiled to himself, remembering the time it helped him convince his shy partner to shed his clothing for the first time. They had been out in the fields near the school during the mid-summer break. He hadn't wanted to go home and Theta decided to stay with him. With nothing else to do, they wandered away from the stuffy buildings of the Academy to find privacy in the trees.

_Theta flopped down into the grass as soon as they reached the shade. "Two suns is too many, he said as he stretched out in the grass. "I think I'm going to evaporate." Koschei nodded. He favored heat, but even he was burning up in his summer tunic and shorts. They had only come far enough to get out of sight of the Academy, but the short walk had plastered the light fabric to his back. Koschei pulled the front of his tunic away from where it stuck to his chest in a vain attempt to get some air. It flopped back and clung to his skin. Annoyed, he stripped it off and threw it against a tree. Theta looked like he was going to say something, but he was too busy trying not to stare. Koschei shook his head at his friend and sat down beside him._

_ "You act like you've never seen me before." Theta made a non-committal sound. Koschei watched his eyes flit from his face to his bare chest and back again. "I don't care if you look." He put his hand over Theta's and let the seconds tick by. "Actually… I sort of want you to." Theta's already flushed face reddened._

_ "Koschei…" His words where cut off when Koschei leaned forward and kissed his flustered partner. He could feel Theta's churning thoughts through the skin-to-skin contact. He was afraid. He didn't know how to act and was worried about doing the wrong thing. His body was telling him all sorts of strange things he didn't know how to deal with, something that reassured Koschei that he wasn't crazy for feeling the same way. Theta liked seeing Koschei, and he did want to look and do other things, but he was so unsure of himself. He wasn't like Koschei. What if something went wrong or he didn't end up being what Koschei wanted or…_

_ Koschei pulled away. Without the extended touch, he could only feel vague emotions._

_ "Theta, is this alright? If you want me to put it back on, I will. I only took it off because it's so hot. I don't want to make you nervous." That wasn't exactly true, but it was what his boyfriend needed to hear. Theta took a deep breath, held it and let it out slowly before answering._

_ "It's fine." He turned his attention to the trees without really looking at them. Koschei could tell he was thinking about something, trying to make up his mind. He sat half turned away, pulling at his own clothes absent-mindedly as if he were considering shedding them as Koschei had._

_ "Theta," Koschei said softly, "it's just me." He laid his hand on his friend's back. "I'm not going to judge you or say anything or get mad." He tried to think of something else to reassure him, some way to lie about what he wanted without really lying. Before he could formulate something, Theta climbed to his feet and stood with his back to his friend. Without a word, he pulled his tunic off over his head. Then, after thinking for a moment, slipped out of his shorts as well. He threw both articles away and turned to face Koschei, his expression nervous but resolute._

_ Koschei stared. He had had some idea of what his boyfriend's body looked like, but he had never thought it would be like this. He ran his eyes over him, savoring every inch that had so cruelly been denied to him by clothing before. Arms and legs and chest and hidden places where all his now. He cursed Theta's modesty even as he now thanked whatever gods were watching that day for his boldness. Theta had always been attractive to him; now that he saw him as a complete and simple whole, he was lost for words._

_ "You're beautiful," Koschei whispered. This caught the already anxious Theta off guard. His resolved wavered._

_ "What?"_

_ "You're beautiful," he repeated in the same reverent tone. Theta laughed nervously._

_ "I wasn't expecting that…" he admitted, "Do you…really mean it?"_

_ "Yes," said Koschei with utter conviction. He stood and took off what remained of his own clothing. Theta looked Koschei up and down much as Koschei imagined he must have. He tried not to feel embarrassed. They came together slowly at first, experimentally, cautiously, then sank down into a tangle of hands and lips and legs and skin, their minds meshing into a gestalt of love and lust._

The Master grinned again at the memory. They hadn't had sex that day; that had come later. There were plenty of new things to try without taking that step and he and Theta spent the rest of that day trying to invent them all. He wandered through their exploits, finally settling on a time when the Doctor had accepted an invitation to share a shower.

_ Koschei stood alone in the dormitory shower. He turned the water up all the way; there was no one to yell at him now that finals were over and everyone else had abandoned the Academy as fast as they could. His own father was coming to pick him up in a few days on route back from a business trip. That suited him fine. The less time home, the better._

_ Even though he was happy for a respite from family, he was already missing Theta. His boyfriend had left early that morning during the strange semi-dawn of the red major sun. After many stolen kisses and promises, he had let Theta get on the transport back to the mountains. It was unthinkable that he might travel with him; from the earliest days of their friendship, Koschei's father had made it clear he did not approve of Theta Sigma as even a friend, never mind as a partner._

_ Koschei had made the long walk back to the Academy alone and, having nothing better to do, decided to take advantage of the deserted facilities. He had tried not to think of his absent lover, but the lack of Theta was so glaring that he had given it up almost at once. '"Dear Theta,"' he thought to himself, '"Ten minutes after getting back from dropping you off, I got bored and lonely so I thought I'd shower. Stupid idea. I've got the heat turned way up just like you hate it. You always make me turn it down, but you make me so hot that it doesn't matter. I'm going to be thinking about you all the time, and not just because of that. But you have to admit you are very, very good at dancing. I miss your smile and your laugh and how you bring me tea when it's cold and make me go to sleep when I stay up too late studying. I suppose it's good to get away but…"' Koschei suddenly missed Theta so acutely that it felt like his hearts had stopped, '"…two weeks is a long time."'_

_ "It's too long," Koschei said out loud, "I should have just lied and hid at your house." It wouldn't have worked, but it was nice to dream. "How am I going to stay away from you for two weeks?"_

_ "Exactly what I was thinking…" said a familiar voice. Koschei heard footsteps outside the shower. He poked his head around the cheap plastic door._

_ "Theta?"_

_ "Surprise," he said quietly, "You weren't in the room so I thought I'd come looking. You're the only one who'd take a boiling shower in the middle of a summer day." Theta stood in front of the door with an amused expression. "Do you always do that when I leave?"_

_ "I don't know who you might be," Koschei said innocently, "My boyfriend's just gone home for the break. I dropped him of at the station this morning." He gave a mock sigh. "He's gone for two weeks…" Koschei ran his gaze up and down Theta appraisingly, "… and two weeks is an awful long time to be all alone. And you're almost as good looking as he is." Theta dropped his bag around the corner, propped his arm up on the wall and leaned in towards the shower._

_ "What a coincidence. My own partner's stuck with his father for two weeks. I was headed home myself, but then I figured home will still be there in a few days. I may not be the looker he is, but I bet I'm better in bed than him." Theta took a step closer to Koschei. "And two weeks _is_ a long time to make due with hot showers."_

_ "You think you could measure up?" Theta came as close as he could without stepping into the stall._

_ "My boyfriend taught me a few things. Maybe I could show you…" He held his face inches away from Koschei's, daring him to make a move. "Better make up your mind, I'm going to need a shower myself just looking at you."_

_ "Let's see how you kiss." Their lips met, mouths and minds opening to deliciously familiar territory._

_ "Almost as good as mine," Theta said when they parted. He licked his lips. "I like the way you taste."_

_ "Get in here." Koschei grabbed him by the shirtfront and hauled him in, clothing and all. They didn't get very wet – Koschei peeled them off as fast as Theta could help him._

The Master shifted memory into fantasy. He imagined the Doctor coming to the door of the bathroom, letting himself in and slipping into the shower. He imagined of the Doctor's strong, slender hands running across his body and kisses on the back on his neck. He thought of the oneness of mind that came with the touch telepathy of skin on skin. He imagined the Doctor wrapping around him, pushing into him, bringing him over the boundaries of feeling again and again. He imagined the Doctor making good his claim of knowing him better than anyone, of knowing the deepest of his secrets. The Master played over a dozen different scenarios, both real and imagined until the TARDIS's vast water supply went cold and he was forced to face reality again.

* * *

Classic Episodes Referenced: "The Five Doctors", Fifth Doctor; "The Twin Dilemma" & "Trial of a Time Lord", Sixth Doctor; "The Doctor Who Movie", Eighth Doctor

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	6. A Picnic and the Calling of Bluffs

"This story was intended for people who shop in the grown-up section of the bookstore… If you have to ask if you will be offended, you probably will."

* * *

Chapter Six, in which there is a picnic and the calling of bluffs

Finally deprived of hot water, the Master reluctantly turned off the shower, wrapped a towel around his waist and left the bathroom. He considered "accidently" running into the Doctor, but decided that trick was only good once. The Master went down the hall to his bedroom and debated on what to wear. The TARDIS had an infinite number selection of clothing, but he wanted something particular. _'Just enough to make him think.'_ The Master decided. _'Nothing too strong.'_ He touched the keyboard on the auto-closet and dialed a red t-shirt, black jeans, a pair of boots and underclothes. The shirt and jeans barely fit him, but that was what he wanted. The Master walked over to the mirror and examined his reflection. After considering it for a moment, he grabbed black hoodie from a chair before leaving to find the Doctor.

He found him in his workshop, tinkering with a seemingly random arrangement of metal pieces. The Master crept up behind the Doctor, stood very closely behind him and leaned over.

"What are you working on?" The Doctor didn't jump this time, but he did put the tool in his hand down very slowly.

"Just an old project." He swept the pieces into a box and turned to the Master. "Ready to go?"

"I want to tell you something first." The Master leaned down until his face was inches from the Doctor's. Scanning his expression, he could see fear behind the masking neutrality. "Something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time."

"And that would be… what?" The Master held the Doctor's gaze for a few seconds. He appeared to be considering his friend, but in fact he was putting out very subtle psychic field. Now that the Doctor was used to him, he could tweak the output in ways that would soften the Doctor to his influence. He did this now and saw the Doctor visibly react. "Master…"

"Am I making you nervous?" the Master asked coyly.

"No… no. Not at all." The Master grinned and pulled back.

"You're a bad liar, Doctor." He pulled a stool out from under the worktable and perched on it. "So, where are we going?" The Doctor shook his head. He felt as if he had verbal whiplash. Maybe this was how his companions felt when he jumped from idea to idea without any transition.

"The Eye of Orion. It's a quiet little world, no sentient life. The people who used to live there made it into a giant park once they started colonizing. They've all moved on so we'll have it all to ourselves." The Master crossed his arms and looked sidelong at the Doctor.

"Afraid I'm going to run off and mess with the locals?"

"This is a trial run. I'm tired of sitting in the TARDIS and she's sick of staying in Vortex. If you can get through this without killing anyone…"

"I never killed anyone," the Master interjected, "Well, there was that one bloke with Martha Jones…" The Doctor glared at him.

"It doesn't bother you, killing people." He said it like a fact he had read out of a book.

"Those apes? No. They're so stupid they don't even notice what's going on around them. All those loud messages and shiny missiles out into space but they always jump and run whenever somebody answers."

"What happened to you?" the Doctor asked, "You used to care about other people." The drums in the Master's head grew several decibels in volume.

"I grew up," he said angrily, "I realized that the world was bigger than the stupid boundaries of children. There is so much more to the universe than what your rules let you see."

"My rules don't hurt destroy people's lives." The Master was all smiles as he drove the dagger the Doctor had unwittingly given him straight into his captor's hearts.

"Don't they?" The Doctor's eyes grew wide. For a brief moment, all the pain and guilt the he kept hidden in the basement of his soul showed in his face. He turned away from the Master in shame.

"I never mean for that to happen." His voice was sad and quiet. "It doesn't always. Sometimes things turn out well, it's not always that bad." The Doctor cringed at how false those words sounded even to his own ears.

"Stop moping. I hate it when you get like this." The Doctor swallowed his emotions and faced the Master again.

"Let's go." He said. "No point sitting around in vortex."

* * *

The Master was bored. He was sitting on a blanket across from the Doctor, watching his companion beat himself up. At first, it had been entertaining to see him wallow in his despair. Now it was just annoying. The Master nibbled on a sandwich and regarded him. "Food's pretty good," he said in an attempt to get the Doctor talking. He gave no reply and continued to stare off into the distance. His mind engaged in an infinite loop of guilt. The Master grabbed a stick and poked the Doctor with it. He jumped.

"What was that for?"

"You're ignoring me," the Master grumbled, "I don't like it when you do that."

"Sorry…" He turned away again. The Master could almost see the imagined baggage crushing the Doctor into the crawling thing of guilt before him.

"Not everything in the universe is your fault." The Doctor didn't answer. The Master scowled. Anyone who knew the Doctor for more than ten minutes could spot that tactic for what is was. Did he really think it was going to work on him? "Stop moping!" He got up and paced over to where the Doctor was sitting. "What's it going to take to snap you out of this?" _'You're no fun this way.'_ The Doctor looked up at the Master confused.

"What…?"

"I hate it when you get like this. You just sit there and won't say anything. What good is that meant to do anyone?" The Doctor gave no reply. It had been so long since anyone had called him on his unhealthy coping mechanisms he didn't know how to react. "The only thing I've gotten out of you in the last hour are your stupid apologies." The Doctor turned away from him.

"What else can I do?" The Doctor's voice dropped. "Just because I can travel in time doesn't mean I can fix what's already happened… and I can't keep from remembering all the time." The Master knelt down next to the Doctor.

"Stop it. Look at me…" He waited until the Doctor met his eyes. The helpless look struck an eerie chord. It wasn't sadness, but desperation. It was an expression he read without any effort at all. "Help me," it said, "You're the only one who can understand. I need you to help me. Please, please save me. I'm lost if you don't. I need you." The Master wondered if that was what he looked like when he implored the Doctor to understand when no one else could. He knelt there half-stunned, trying to think of something to say. Seeing his own emotions reflected back was the last thing he had expected. Old impulses ran through his mind. He wanted to embrace the Doctor, to take him in his arms and shield him from the world. He wanted to take him away from everything and protect him and keep him safe from the world that hurt him. His hearts raced. How easy would it be to do just that? To forget everything else and steal the Doctor away from the universe and hide where no one could find them. Could he really do it? Could he really turn his back on centuries of life and start over?

The Doctor was watching him carefully now. The Master felt himself teeter on a knife's edge. He could act on what he felt, or he could stick to the plan. But then, wouldn't doing what he wanted serve both ends? He needed to soften him up and…

"Master…" His hearts skipped a beat at the sound of his name. _'All these years and the sound of you calling me still does this to me.'_ He put his arms around the Doctor and pulled him close. The Doctor locked up against the hug at first, but relaxed when he saw that the Master meant him no harm. He put everything he couldn't say into the embrace and held his old friend in silence.

* * *

The Doctor's mind halted. Everything he had been thinking, all the terrible scenarios and lost people and mistakes were swept away. After centuries of being alone, the Master had come back to him. This wouldn't last, he knew. This fragile state was fleeting; the person the Master had become would not let his childhood self rule for long. Even so, the Doctor felt the years fall away and the wounds of centuries heal just a little more.

He reached up and tried put his arms around the Master in return, but he was already pulling away. "Master…" He looked at his friend's face. The Doctor might be ready to drop pretense and admit that the feelings of centuries ago remained, but the Master wasn't. He changed what he was going to say. "Thanks," he said, his voice coming out in a croak. "I needed that." The Master gave a non-committal noise and walked away. The Doctor watched him go sadly. _'Why did you build all this up? You don't have to be the big, bad Master for people to pay attention to you. You can be so much more than a villain.'_ The Doctor remembered what he had been like all those years ago. He suddenly hated the drums more than anything else in his long life.

"Master!" The Doctor got up and ran after his friend. "Don't leave." The Master didn't slow down. "Wait…" He caught up with the Master easily. "Hang on, just wait for a second."

"What?" The Master was visibly annoyed, but stopped anyway.

"I'm tired." The Doctor said. "I'm tired of being alone. I'm tried of pretending."

"What are you going on about?" The Doctor scrambled for words, then gave up and took the Master's hand. He let all of the pain and loneliness flow through the link. "Let go of me!" The Master tried to wrench his hand free, but the Doctor held on.

"This is what it's like without you. Master, please. I know you miss me too." The Master's face turned dark.

"Stop it," he snarled. He tried to get free again.

"You've been dancing around this for years. Don't think I don't remember." The Doctor pulled them both into a memory five lifetimes old.

* * *

_"It seems as though you've foiled my plans again," the Master said with smug amusement, "Too bad you have to choose between your precious little companions and me." The Doctor calmly regarded his rival._

_ "Oh, I wouldn't say that." He pulled back his coat and put his hands in his pockets. "I'm sure you'll be back to cause more trouble for me soon enough."_

_ "True." The Master gathered his cloak around him and prepared to leave. "I have to be going, can't have my escape delayed. But before I go…" The Master closed the distance between them and kissed the Doctor before he could move away. The Doctor felt a strange mixture of fear and arousal at the contact. The Master's mind was open to his; calling for him to give in to the desires he had put away so long ago. The Doctor came up from the kiss in a daze to find the Master's hand trailing down his face. "Until next time…"_

_ Back in the TARDIS, the Doctor gripped the control panel to keep from shaking. Nyssa and Tegan would worry of course, but it would be much easier from them to accept eccentric behavior than a clumsy lie. He couldn't tell them the truth. It would conflict with their concept of him too much and raise all sorts of other issues he didn't want to deal with. He would let them come to their own conclusions and not deny their assumptions if they asked. As much as he fled from the truth these days, it wouldn't be hard._

_ "Are you alright, Doctor?" asked an oddly accented voice._

_ "Yes, yes." He straightened and put on a smile. "Right as ever, Tegan." The Doctor started flipping switches. "Off we go!"_

_

* * *

_

"I was just playing with you," the Master growled, "It didn't mean anything." Realizing the Doctor was distracted, he pulled his hand free.

"What about the Cheetah Planet?" the Doctor demanded.

"I wasn't myself! I was growing whiskers and fangs. How could you possibly think I was in my right mind?"

"And all that stuff about how much you 'wanted my body' during the eighth me?"

"Bad resurrection."

"And the kiss on the bridge?"

"I was trying to _kill_ you!"

"Of all the ways to distract me, that's the one you picked." The Doctor tilted his head in mock consideration. "That's not how I remember it. They say that a Time Lord's death affects what they regenerate as. You seemed to like the next me well enough…" The Master turned and stomped off. The Doctor let him leave, then went back to the picnic to wait for his companion to come back. He laid down on the blanket and closed his eyes as his mind drifted off in the quiet to the strange realms of his imagination.

* * *

Classic Episodes Referenced: "Logopolis", Fourth Doctor; "The Five Doctors" & "Castlevana", Fifth Doctor; "The Cheetah Planet", Seventh Doctor; "The Doctor Who Movie", Eighth Doctor

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	7. Red Grass and the Turning of Tables

"This story was intended for people who shop in the grown-up section of the bookstore… If you have to ask if you will be offended, you probably will."

* * *

Chapter Seven, is which there is red grass and the turning of tables

_They ran across the fields of red grass, as endless and eternal as the friendship that sang between them. The suns blazed above in their places and the mountains stood watching quietly as the sons of their lands laughed in their games and all seemed right with the world for one afternoon. Theta and Koschei had escaped both their families and the Academy for a day; the school had let their youngest students return to their homes, Koschei's father was busy with his own work and Theta's mother had been happy to be rid of her son for an afternoon._

_ "Can't catch me!" Koschei yelled as he tore ahead._

_ "Just watch!" Theta Sigma changed from his steady pace to a sprint. He nearly had caught up to his friend when Koschei took a sudden left turn. He almost got away from his pursuer, but Theta already knew where he was headed. Instead of following Koschei's trail, he ran towards the place he would be and pounced on him as they intersected. They wrestled in the grass, more because they could than for any kind of real victory. Theta was able to use his early jump to pin Koschei down._

_ "I win!" Theta announced triumphantly. Koschei frowned at him._

_ "Great… now get off me." Theta knew he hated to lose, so he rolled to the side and lay in the grass beside his friend._

_ "You need a new trick, Koschei. The stuff about triangles they taught us is actually helpful."_

_ " I'll think of something… soon as… I get my breath…" Theta glanced over at Koschei. He was gasping for air._

_ "You okay?"_

_ "Yeah… I'm fine." He looked at Theta. "Not everyone can run for miles on end like you do."_

_ "We should run more. Then you'll get better." Theta sat up. "Come on, you try to get me now!" Koschei didn't move._

_ "I'm tired." He closed his eyes. "Let's stay here for a while." Now it was Theta's turn to frown._

_ "But…"_

_ "Listen," Koschei said, "Don't you hear it?"_

_ "Hear what?"_

_ "Lie down again."_

_ "I don't hear anything, Koschei."_

_ "Just do it." Theta reluctantly stretched out beside his friend._

_ "Now close your eyes."_

_ "Koschei…"_

_ "Trust me." Theta closed his eyes._

_ "Fine. They're closed. I still don't hear anything."_

_ "Shh… you have to listen."_

_ "I don't even know…"_

_ "Hush. You'll hear it."_

_ "What are we listening to?"_

_ "The world," Koschei said simply, "The whole world. Gallifrey and the stars and the suns and you and me and all the people and animals and plants."_

_ "What are you talking about?"_

_ "Shh… you have to be quiet." Theta let a few minutes pass before asking again._

_ "I still don't hear anything."_

_ "You're being too loud."_

_ "I'm not making any noise at all!"_

_ "Yes, you are." Koschei reached out and touched his hand. Now that they had skin-to-skin contact, they could see into the surfaces of each other's minds. With time, they would learn to do much more with this skill, but for now they could only perceive active outputs. "I hear it."_

_ "I'm only thinking."_

_ "You've got to make your head quiet too."_

_ "How do I…"_

'Follow me.'_ Theta jumped. The voice had come from inside his mind. He'd heard this kind of thought-speech from his teachers as examples in psychics class, and his mother used it with him frequently to keep him calm in situations that required silence, but he had never heard it from someone his own age. His teachers often told him that he had the raw power for mind-to-mind work, that if he could only refine it he would be a master someday. The trouble was, he found the focus difficult and that kept him behind. Koschei seemed to have mastered the skill enough to speak without speaking._

_ "When did you learn to do that?"_

'Practice. Lots.'_ Koschei replied,_ 'Follow me.'_ He projected a feeling of calm. At first Theta perceived it as being empty, but Koschei corrected him._

'Open. Not empty.'_ Theta tried to change his state of mind to be accepting. He felt a positive signal from Koschei. Theta struggled to keep is mind in line. His brain had been a place of millions of thoughts and ideas ever since he'd been old enough to use it. Trying to silence the background noise to hear the mysterious something Koschei spoke of was like trying to bend over backwards._

'Possible. Try.' _Theta refocused his efforts. After a while, time slipped away from him. He imagined himself sinking below his thoughts, falling away from the world he had created in his brain. In the quiet behind his thinking, he heard it. The sound wasn't loud, or big. At first it was like a heartbeat, then the single rhythm became many. The rhythms became the beat of a million different beings singing together in chaotic harmony. Their song became the crash of the waves on the beach, then the wind running through the trees on the mountains. It took on hundreds of different forms, but none of them really fit the sound Theta heard trickling into the back of his mind, they were only the result of his brain trying to process the unworldly music._

_ He didn't stay in the open state long; his churning mind wouldn't allow it. When he came back to himself, Theta could feel that Koschei was still in the quiet place behind thinking. Opened his eyes and saw a huge smile on Koschei's face. Theta had never seen him look so happy. He doubted he could get back to hearing on his own, but he closed his eyes anyway. Theta lay in the sun with his friend, taking the happiness he felt from Koschei and making it his own._

_

* * *

_

The Doctor dozed happily in the past under the tree where the Master had left him. The smile he wore in childhood was once more blazoned across his face. The Master stood over the Doctor and couldn't bring himself to hurt his old friend. It was too easy. He paced around the blanket and wondered. He had to get away from the Doctor. Being around him was twisting his actions as much he was manipulating the Doctor's. If he didn't escape soon, there'd be nothing left of himself. He briefly considered kicking the Doctor, but settled instead for nudging him with his foot. The Doctor stirred.

"I heard it, Koschei…" he mumbled in a near extinct language, "…the whole world…" The Master saw his hand flex as though it were reaching for something. The innocence of the pose set his anger off. He dug his foot into the Doctor's ribs. "What was that for, ay?"

"You wouldn't wake up."

"I was dreaming." The Doctor gave a cat-like yawn. "About us." He stretched and stood up. "Do you remember the time we went out in the fields and you listened to the world?"

"No," the Master lied.

"Oh… well, I guess it was a long time ago. So, ready to go? Sunset's soon and there might be nasty things about in the dark."

"Not back to the TARDIS. We've been in there for weeks. I've been good, haven't I? Not tried to kill you or runaway yet."

"I can't trust you," the Doctor said seriously, "I can't leave you anywhere."

"Don't I get some kind of reward for being so good?" The Master eliminated the distance between them. The Doctor eyed him warily. Sometime since he had last seen him, the Master had taken off his sweatshirt. The Doctor noted with equal parts dread and secret happiness that the clothing he was wearing underneath barely fit. Just like before in the TARDIS, the Doctor found that his speech center shut down when confronted with the Master's body. "Doctor?"

"That shirt…" He said without thinking, "is a bit small for you." The Doctor found that he literally could not think. The Master was filling his brain so completely that there was no room for anything else. If he had been able to consider it, he would have realized that this was a result of the Master's manipulations.

"Maybe I should go back and change then. You can help me find new clothes."

"Clothes… right." The Doctor turned to go back to the TARDIS. Now that he had broken eye contact, his mind was functioning better. He walked back to the ship in a daze, the Master following close behind with a vicious grin on his face.

* * *

The Master stood in the TARDIS wardrobe, thinking about the plan. This was the perfect time to carry out it. The Doctor was almost completely in his control now and the TARDIS was parked. The Eye of Orion was less than ideal, but it was much better than Vortex. What was more, the Doctor had come to him. True, it had been from the emotional side of things, he had always needy in that respect, but it told the Master that his machinations had been successful. He'd wanted to come to this through simple lust, not the complicated tangle of emotions that followed their relationship about like a specter of times past. The Master very seldom admitted it, but what he had done to Theta Sigma all those years ago still weighed on his actions. For all his horrible deeds, he'd never done anything he regretted as much as destroying his lover. In an odd way, it gave license to the evil that came afterwards; he'd tried to rape his boyfriend and broken him in the process. What could be worse than that?

The Master found what he was looking for in the bowels of the Doctor's wardrobe, a pair of boxer shorts belonging to the current self. _'This is it.'_ He thought. _'I get him down and grab the TARDIS and run. I'll dump him somewhere on ancient Earth – he'll stay there without too much fuss.'_ The Master stripped off what he'd been wearing and pulled on the shorts. They were an extremely tight fit, but he wouldn't be wearing them long.

* * *

"Doctor?" He waited for the other to turn around before continuing. The Master locked eyes with his quarry, but found it impossible to keep contact with the panicking Time Lord. "The clothes machine isn't working." The Doctor made a small noise. "I grabbed what I could find. Not the best, but it's just us." The Doctor nodded wide-eyed. The Master took his time crossing the room. "It's foolish, really. What should we worry about it? Just the two of us."

"Just us," the Doctor repeated in a daze, "Yes, well I've gotten so used to humans and they have some weird ideas and…" The Doctor struggled to keep words coming lest he lose speech altogether. The Master was standing very close to him now. Despite himself, he looked down. "Oh, I remember those. Jack bought them for me that one time…"

"Would you rather I take them off?" The Doctor's face turned red.

"No! No, no, no, it's fine I only wore them the once coz he asked so it doesn't matter."

"Am I making you nervous, Doctor?" He looked for an escape, but found he was trapped between the TARDIS wall and the Master.

"Do you have to ask?" the Doctor said quietly. The Master grinned and began to play with the Doctor's jacket.

"I've been thinking about what you said…" The Doctor took a breath before answering. The Master could feel how anxious he was, how very much he wanted to continue and how afraid he was to do it.

"What I said?"

"Outside. Before I stormed off. I was only angry because you were right. You know me too well." The Master let his fingers dance over the buttons of the Doctor's jacket, unfastening each as he went.

"Oh, that. Well, I was just saying since I hadn't been with anyone since Rose and all and Jack a few times but…"

"You still wake up and want it to be me." The Master meet the Doctor's eyes and turned every bit of psychic force he possessed into making the other follow his lead. "They can never make it like what we had." The Doctor nodded slowly. "And every night you spend with them you wish more than anything it wasn't just a shadow of what it could be." The Master knew he had him. One more push, one more word, and the Doctor would be his.

"Master…" He closed his eyes to savor the sound. In all the worlds he'd ever visited, the Master had never heard anything sweeter than the Doctor saying his name.

"Yes, Doctor?" The Master scanned his face carefully. _'After all this, you're _still_ uncertain. No wonder you can't cope.'_ "Tell me to stop and I'll stop." _'Admit it. You want it.'_ "Go on, all you have to say is "no"."

* * *

Observant readers will notice that the Master's last lines of this chapter are his first lines in the story.

Next week will be the final chapter.

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	8. Plans and Endings

"This story was intended for people who shop in the grown-up section of the bookstore… If you have to ask if you will be offended, you probably will."

* * *

Chapter Eight, in which plans are carried out and the waiting is ended

The Doctor woke slowly to the grill of the TARDIS floor pressing into his face. He had no idea how long he'd been laying there, but it was time enough for the flooring to leave a waffle print any place his skin touched it. Which, now that he considered it, was just about everywhere. In the back of his mind, he wondered where his clothes had gone, but this was a small concern compared to the absence of the Master.

The Doctor stood up carefully and went over himself. He didn't appear hurt, but he was very sore in places and smelled of his wayward captive. Those two facts, combined with his current state, boded ill in his mind. He walked around the control room, searching for something to tell him what had happened. Evidence lay scattered across the floor around the chair. The Doctor picked up his own clothes and put them back on. The boxers Jack had given him lay a bit further away. He left them. The room was a wash of smells, but he was able to follow the Master's, heavily mixed with his own, down the hall to the zero room. The Doctor stood at the lock and felt fuzzy glimpses of what happened fight into his memory.

He remembered talking to the Master. He remembered kissing and touching and sex. The Doctor began to panic slightly as recollections of dancing gave way to a memory of something much more insidious.

* * *

_ Now that the Doctor was contained, the Master took him back to the control room and entered his mind again, free to do as he wished. There would certainly be difficulties, but without the Doctor's active defense things would be much easier. His biggest problem would come from himself: the Master lacked the Doctor's finesse in these sort of things. He'd practiced on Lucy, but a Time Lord mind was much more complex than that of a simple human._

_ On the other hand, what the Master planned wasn't rocket science. He needed to get control of the TARDIS and keep the Doctor from following him. Easy._

_ Or so he had thought an hour ago. The Master was wandering about in the Doctor's mind, completely lost. Time Lord minds normally followed one of two patterns: they resembled archeological sites with the layer of each life put over the last or there were sections for each life around a central hub. The Doctor's mind seemed to be a combination. The top layer had two distinct sections: one for the current life, another for the one that must have come before. He'd gone through both to another layer below the current dominant forms to a Doctor he was more familiar with. He traveled past Victorian scenery and umbrellas and strange fabrics to another break. This one was punctuated by the strange smell of a white powder. The section beyond it was a maze of corridors covered with pictures of humans on all sides. Three girls, the one who's world he'd destroyed among them, an odd looking male and a strange red-headed school boy who looked too old for his uniform filled most of the frames, but there was also pictures of aliens and other humans. _'That's right,'_ the Master thought. _'That one loved the Earthlings. You said that one was from how the scarfed fool died. He was a lot like Theta… as that because you were thinking about me?'

_He continued on. The corridors gave way to a large circular park. The Master immediately recognized it as the Eye of Orion. Across the way, an arch lead into another section. Halfway across the circle, he saw a large silver tree growing strong in the green grass. It caught the Master's curiosity. "Now that doesn't belong here," he said. The Master turned from his path to investigate. "You're a Gallifreyian tree. What are you doing in a Western Spiral park?" He walked up and touched the tree. An image of himself flashed across his vision. The Master pulled his hand back. "What…" Now that he considered it, the tree did seem familiar in more than just a casual way. He put both hands on the bark and found himself pulled in by the entity that recognized its source as part of itself._

_The Master nearly lost himself in the tide of emotion. It was painful and sweet and trusting and poisoned and broken and whole and right and terribly wrong. It was fundamental. It belonged here and would never ever die no matter how constant the threats that harried it. It was growing strong now, but also suffering from tainted feed. The Master cried out in surprise and fear. The tide stopped its flow and began to swirl around him._

'It is you!'_ came at least a dozen different voices,_ 'You have come to us! The one who is loved is here!'

"_What's going on?" the Master asked._

'You have joined us. You are us. We come from you and you are one with us.'

"_I only touched the tree…"_

'And so we see you and bring you to us.'_ The voices began to fracture._

'You left…'

'You ended me when you climbed back from death…'

'I would have loved you, if I could have, but things were so complicated…'

'You saved me.'

'And me.'

'And me!'

"_Stop!" The Master broke into the voices. "I'm trying to get to the center. The control. Processing. Can you get me there?" There was a confused babble for a moment. "Just one! I can't understand all of you at once." A calm voice, used to being the voice of reason behind actions, spoke up._

'We can take you there. Should we?'_ The Master snorted._

"_I'm trying to do something. It will help both of us in the end." The tide turned from a whirlpool into a river. The Master was pulled along and deposited a foot of a tree even larger than the first. Indeed, had this not been the mental world, the giant could not even exist save on a world of exceptionally low gravity. He stared up at it, head tilting back until he nearly fell backwards. The Master got his balance back and looked around. The voices in the tree had dropped him where he needed to be. The Master walked forward into the main control center of the Doctor's mind._

_

* * *

_

The Doctor stood in lock to the zero room, gripping the sides of the doorway to keep from collapsing completely. "Why?" he asked out loud. He didn't even consider thinking it, his own mind seemed a violated place now. "Why did you do it? Was staying here so bad?" The Doctor felt himself falling back to the darkest places of his life. "What you did before wasn't terrible enough?" He crumpled into a heap in front of the zero room, wanting to cry but feeling too overwhelmed for the deep, hopeless weeping that would let the emotions out. He felt numb, so hurt that his feelings could no longer register. It was bitterly familiar. "Master, is it always going to be this way? Am I ever going to get the real you back? Or is that you lost forever?" He let his head fall and stared at his hands. " 'The one who makes people better'… some doctor I am." He closed his eyes. "Loving you isn't enough, is it?"

* * *

_The Master turned controls that would keep the Doctor incapacitated. He'd already found the information that would allow him to let himself out of the TARDIS – this was simply a precaution so he'd have time to get away. After some thought, he erased the Doctor's short-term memory. It wouldn't keep him from remembering permanently, but it would lessen the immediate blow. Or so he hoped. He didn't want to make this any worse than it needed to be. The Master stood in the main nerve center of the Doctor's mind and nearly turned back everything he had accomplished. His ever-analyzing brain was working out the effect this was going to have on the Doctor. Even the most forgiving of possibilities was grim. _'He'll be fine. It's not my problem.'_ Guilt nibbled at the edges of his resolve._ 'I'll leave him the TARDIS. I can get another ship. He can trace the TARDIS anyway. Better to leave him to mope than have him trying to come back for it.'_ The Master withdrew from the Doctor's mind._

_ Back in the physical world the Doctor lay stretched across the TARDIS control room floor. The Master turned the Doctor to look him in the face. His expression was completely blank. "Doctor?"_

_ No response._

_The Master brushed the Doctor's consciousness and didn't hear anything in reply. It wasn't the deafness of a non-psychic mind, but the dead un-thought of sleeping animal. It was eerie to turn to a place that had been full of light and sound and find it dark and silent. The Master shuddered involuntarily. He pulled away from the Doctor, but couldn't ignore the eldritch thing laying beside him. The knowledge that he was the one who had created this thing unsettled him._

_But wasn't that always the way with them?_

_He hadn't realized until much later, but the fit of madness that had caused him to break Theta's hearts was the first time the drums had become too much for him to handle. Later, he learned how to deal with those episodes, but at the time he was so desperate for a respite he would have, and did, do whatever he could to drive them out. The Master cut that line of thinking off sharply. Worrying over that was not going to make it better. It almost worked, but then his mind took a turn and he lost touch with reality._

"_How could you?" The ghost of himself as a child, as Koschei, stood before him in an ocean of darkness. "How could you hurt him like that?"_

"_You don't understand!" the Master shouted, "I had to make them stop. They're always there and I have to keep them away!" The beats had become amplified in this strange netherworld. The Master could barely hear himself think._

"_I'm you," Koschei said coldly, "Don't tell me that I don't understand."_

"_You haven't felt it yet! You haven't gotten there yet. What are you, ninety? One hundred? It hasn't happened to you yet. You haven't felt it crushing your brain and pounding out your thoughts. You don't know!" He was screaming over the drums, yet Koschei's voice cut through it all with no effort at all._

"_I love him. I would do anything to protect him." Koschei's eyes narrowed. "And now you want to abuse the trust he gave us to escape when he's trying to be for you what I was for him."_

"_Shut up," the Master snarled, "You had your time. You're nothing now, a stupid memory in the back of my head. You're dead!" Koschei looked down at him defiantly._

"_I'd rather be a dead memory than a bastard like you." The Master was about to tell the ghost just how little that mattered when Koschei continued. "And I know what happened. I'm just the personality. I've watched you for centuries."_

"_And you stood by through all the rest. What's so special about this?" the Master demanded. Koschei seemed to grow bigger._

"_You've never left before. This is the first time I was able to do this." Koschei paused. "Now I wish I hadn't." He fixed him with a look of hate so potent the Master felt the space around them heat up. "I always wondered what I would be, what the future me would be like, but now I'm glad I'm dead."_

"_Stop saying that." the Master growled._

"_It's true and you know it. I'm you, remember!" Koschei summoned all the fury of his young self and shouted, "I'd rather be dead than be you!"_

"_SO WOULD I!" the Master screamed. The netherworld shook with the sound and shattered around him. The last thing he saw was Koschei's shocked face, now taken aback with how terribly correct he was._

_The Master came back to unyielding reality. "So would I…" he repeated quietly. He forced himself to look at the Doctor. His oldest and closest friend, his first lover, the person who had loved him across ten lives at ludicrous cost to himself lay destroyed at his hands. Again._

_With nowhere else to turn, the Master retreated to instinct. He ran._

_

* * *

_

The Doctor pulled himself up. There was no point in dwelling on it. What was done was done, and no amount of crying or screaming or wishing would make it different. The Master had escaped, but he was sure to be back. Maybe next time…

'_No, don't think about that.'_

The Doctor went back to the control room. He needed a companion. A human one this time, someone not attached, someone who didn't know him. Someone who could make him believe in the universe again. Maybe he would head back to Earth and see who was hanging around the 21st century. The Doctor opened the door to the control room, intending to set a new course. He stopped dead when he saw what was waiting for him there.

* * *

_The Master ran out into the wilderness of the Eye of Orion. Out into the night, with only the distant stars as witness, he tore through the shadows. He fled the TARDIS and the Doctor and his actions and himself._

_ After running for many days, he allowed himself to slow down and think. In the darkness under the strange stars of Orion he debated whether or not to return. _'It's going to hurt him more if I don't go back. I can't just leave him.'_ He decided finally. He was running to save the Doctor anyway. He could at least give him the closure of knowing why. Reluctantly, the Master turned back to face what he had done._

_

* * *

_

"Master…?" The Doctor couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Hello," the Master said quietly. He was standing just inside the TARDIS, looking anxious but resolute. "I came to say I'm sorry." The Doctor crossed the control room but did not come any closer. "And that I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I can't stay here. I can't hurt you anymore." The Doctor took a few more steps towards the Master. In response, the Master shifted towards the door.

"But… but I thought…" The Master gave a bitter laugh.

"Thought you had me… thought you could keep me and everything would be fine. It's not fine, Doctor. It's never going to be fine."

"I won't make you stay, but I wish you would."

"Why the hell would you want that?"

"This is how it always ends. You hurt me and I stop you from breaking a planet in two and then you run off to start something new and leave me to pick up the pieces. I don't want to do this anymore."

"I'll turn on you."

"Running away didn't work the last time you tried to save me from yourself," the Doctor said softly. "Master, I can help you. And I need you. Please don't leave me again." The Master looked as if he were going to cry.

"After everything that's happened…" The Doctor closed the distance between them.

"I don't care. I know it's not you." He reached out and took the Master's head in his hands. "I know who you really are, who you can be." The Doctor took a depth breath. "I remember the person I never stopped loving." He showed the Master the great silver tree. He leaned forward and touched his forehead to the Master's. "I know you," he whispered. The Doctor sent the memories of Koschei across, of the time they had been together, of small moments they had had since. He projected the feeling of the Master he built in his own mind, the concept of the lover he had lost. The Master reached up and put his hands over the Doctor's wrists. He sent back his own ideals: thoughts of running off with different versions of the Doctors, of the strange hero who always came back, of the person who loved him when he could not love himself. They stood together for a long time, sharing what they had hidden for so long.

"Stay with me," the Doctor said when they finally leaned apart again. "Please." The Master looked down at their clasped hands and grinned sadly.

"Why not?" he said with a sniff. The Master looked up at the Doctor. "It's what I had always wanted." The Doctor smiled.

"Me too."

The End

* * *

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End Notes:

Huge bigger-on-the-inside thanks to my beta readers Anney and AJ. This story would not have been written if it weren't for them letting me bounce ideas off them and borrowing a few of their responses. THANK YOU BOTH!

If you enjoyed this story, please consider reading my other Doctor/Master fics. All of them, "Nightmares", "The Second Intervention of Enzo Tapori" and "Dreams of Flying", are based on the same past used in this story. If you're interested in a lighter tale, I've got some humorous fics posted as well.

Thanks for Reading!


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